urethra

come on, internet

dear internet,

why haven't you created a brilliant mash-up / phone prank / movie that pokes fun of these sounds clips from barack obama's audiobook version of dreams from my father? you're falling behind. don't make me do the dirty work for you.

“There are white folks, and then there are ignorant motherfuckers like you.” (MP3)

“You ain’t my bitch, nigga! Buy your own damn fries!” (MP3)

“This shit’s getting way too complicated for me.” (MP3)

“Sure you can have my number, baby!” (MP3)

“Blam!” (MP3)

toto

Noah: I was texting with a friend of mine last night
and instead of saying totes for totally I said toto

me: omg, i love that more!

Noah: I know
it's gret

me: toto gret!

secsies

i'm addicted to coining words on urban dictionary.

click here for the definition of secsies.




p.s. random question: is it weird that i always put on my fancy socks when i go to the crotch doctor? no need to answer that, i know it's weird.

my dick

having a bad work day? this song is guaranteed to jump start your day and put a smile on your face.

it's also been scientifically proven to temporarily lift the unemployment blues. 9 out of 10 scientists recommend listening to this song in the morning.

listen here

my new hat

hope?