Spam of the day

Hey
My name is Veronika. I think that you are surprise having
received from me the letter a little. I can explain as I have
received your email. I to you only want to tell that I went
dating agency and me a distance your e-mail.
Whether I think that you is nothing I write to you and I only
want to ask you really you the single man who wants to find the woman?
I as want to searchthe relations,
with the true and fair person.
I to you as want to tell that to me of 29 years and I think that my
age won't confuse you. I only want to tell that if you are more senior
me you shouldn't be afraid of the age because than the person is more
adult that it more cleverly and much more seriously to concern search to
the significant other. I think that wasn't mistaken in you and we will
learn about each other further. I only want to ask you you would like that
our
acquaintance proceeded? I will be glad if you want to write to me and I
will wait from you the {%ROTmessage|answer%} vesonika@yahoo.com.
I wish you health and have good care Have a good day, you new friend
Veronika

Things You Can Be On Halloween Besides Naked (video)

My annual sexy Halloween costume rant

da fuck?

An email I just received...

deer sir we belong to pakistan. and maybe  you know that we are going to past.there are a lot of shop but there is no shop for sports bicycle i mean racing bicycle.if we want to buy it too much. i have a giant bike but i do not have good wheel.Please help me for use wheel .reply me must .i m waiting your mail.

nom nom nom

Hippos

I had the chance to witness hippos pooping underwater 2 weeks ago in San Diego. Wish I could have experienced them out of the water, though...

http://www.fuckyounofuck.me/post/18624729072/hippo-poops-like-a-motorboat-lenski

The Girls

For some reason I'm a little weirded out by a healthcare company that refers to my boobs as "The Girls"

omgz

my work-crush just told me that he is moving a mere 2 steps from my apartment. this could be dangerous.

Annual Halloween Rant

Here comes my annual Halloween rant: STOP with the sexy Halloween costumes for women! Ugh.

Even Target has a "shop sassy costumes" section for women.

Be a sexy ninja turtle. Oooh, work that half shell, girrrrl.

 

Skittles tank dress. Taste the rainbow in her titties.

 

Ooh, sexy, seductive Chucky doll. Come and hack me, beh-beh.

"Yay, I'm Big Bird! Weeeee!" I've been waiting for the day when we could sexualize Sesame Street.

I don't know why...

..but I feel the need to post this picture of my dad that was taken in 1977. El.Oh.El.

Oh, Beavertron.

Job Title: Social Media Marketing Specialist
Job Location: Beaverton

REQUIREMENTS:
* Bachelor's Degree in Journalism, Communications, English or closely related field
* Minimum of 3 years experience in a marketing environment that included copywriting, reporting editorial copy creation, technical writing, public relations or closely related work
* An equivalent combination of education and experience may be considered
* Skills to communicate specialized and technical information in both oral and written format to a broad audience
* Skills to educate and train a wide range of individuals in the company's core markets via effective oral and written communication skills

PREFERRED:
* Current shooting / hunting and birding / observation experience
* Familiarity with firearms

New Career Path

I've been contemplating my next career move and have been thinking about some ideas that might thrive in the Portland market.  Here are just a few examples of ideas that you will not steal from me:


Start a cart called Un/employed Sandwiches.  There will be a suggested donation of $2-$3 for the unemployed and $5-$7 for the employed, but people can give what they can afford.  The sandwiches will be fucking good and fucking local/sustainable/organic/straight from a farm/cage free/pesticide free/and shit like that.  I will also set up Wii Rock band that will be projected onto the side of my cart for the unemployed.  For a $2 suggested donation, I will also sit down with you and take a look at your resume and give the unemployed some bullshit advice on how to spice it up a notch.  The unemployment rate is at 10.5%, so I figure 90% of my customers will be giving me more than $3.

Start a business called Breakfast by Bike.  I will have strong partnerships and relationships with the Screen Door and the Tin Shed.  You email me your breakfast request (preferably the night before), and I'll deliver it by bike to your bedroom (creepy?) sometime after 10am.  You avoid the hour long wait in line, and you eat delicious breakfast in bed. 

Start a business called Thai by Bike.  Same concept as the above, except I deliver Thai food instead.  Currently, there is no Thai delivery in Portland that I know of and there's about 10,000 Thai restaurants.  What's up with that?

Start a Hipster Makeover service.  You discreetly pay me to come over to your house while your 5 roommates are out and I criticize your itunes music collection.  Then we take a trip to the Goodwill bins and I turn you into a Hipster Douchebag, while signing a contract that I will never tell your friends that we met.

Start a Groceries by Bike business.  You submit your grocery and farmer's market requests to me on my website, I deliver it to your door after you get off of work.  I will also add an additional Shrink by Bike service and will sit down with you on your couch and listen to you as you rant about your work day or (lack of) love life and I will offer my candid advice and a free hug.

I forgot..

I forgot how much I hate job hunting.  I suppose I should be thankful for nearly 4 years of not having to do it.  There are many things I would rather be doing than job hunting...

1.  Eating dogshit.  yes, I would eat some dogshit now if it meant I didn't need to job hunt.
2.  Getting stung by 5 bees.
3.  Watching Dr. Phil.  Ew.  To be honest, I would rather eat dogshit than watch Dr. Phil.  But I would still rather watch Dr. Phil than job hunt.
4.   Drinking Coors Light every week for a year.
5.  Going to church.  Wait....maybe not.  Scratch that.

Bach shirt

 

a shirt i made for a friend.

 

Subject: Hi ur Free Tomorrow

WTF

Did I really just find out that my uncle is now married via Facebook?  Even his sisters did not know.  What a lame way to announce to your family.

Don't know how you do the voodoo that you do

Facebook told me that this picture was "too tall or too skinny."  Whatevz.

Jcrew Models

Why are Jcrew models always so pissed off and hungry?

Ugh

How do I prevent Chinese people from posting spam on my blog? It is really annoying.