la bite

i love serge. i want to be him. i want to sit in my office all day, in black and white, pretending to smoke a cigarette. he could be singing about syphilis for all i know. it doesn't matter.

beating the heat

nature's air conditioning and beer refrigeration service is quite refreshing. who needs electricity when you can sit in a river and eat doritos all day.

i'm not an olympian and that's okay

it's weird to see an athlete that you used to compete against many moons ago now playing in the olympics. it makes me feel old and lazy. however, i've come to realize that there are many benefits to not being in the olympics:

1) you don't have to smile and pretend you are BFFs with george dubya bush.
2) ...or have your bum cheeks grabbed by him.
3) you don't have to be polite and eat monkey brains, dog, or octopus balls in your host country of china.
4) you don't have to play volleyball in 290% humidity and breathe in toxic poopy fumes, thus lengthening your life span compared to an olympic athlete, i'm sure.
5) no neck cramps due to weight of gold medals around your neck.
6) you don't have to display your perfect buttocks or 20 pack abs of steel to an international audience. you can flex those puppies in the privacy of your own apartment.
7) ben & jerrys ice cream plus doritos for dinner if i fucking feel like it, alright.

be still, my spaghetti heart

ten reasons it would rule to date a unicorn

my co-worker just sent me this website...it's beautiful :`(

http://tenreasonsitwouldruletodateaunicorn.com/

a boner for thomas edison

in 2007 i developed a major crush on benjamin franklin after my visit to philadelphia. in the year two thousand ot eight, i have a raging boner for thomas edison. i'm not sure what it is about these inventors that turn me on. is it wrong to crush out on a dead man?


here's a sample of my favorite edison quotes:

"Faith, as well intentioned as it may be, must be built on facts, not fiction--faith in fiction is a damnable false hope."

"I'd put my money on the sun and solar energy. What a source of power! I hope we don't have to wait until oil and coal run out before we tackle that." this is from 1931! if only he were alive today. :`(

"I have always found, when I was worrying, that the best thing to do was put my mind upon something, work hard and forget what was troubling me."

"Nature is what we know. We do not know the gods of religions. And nature is not kind, or merciful, or loving. If God made me—the fabled God of the three qualities of which I spoke: mercy, kindness, love—He also made the fish I catch and eat. And where do His mercy, kindness, and love for that fish come in? No; nature made us—nature did it all—not the gods of the religions."

"Until man duplicates a blade of grass, nature can laugh at his so-called scientific knowledge."

"Non-violence leads to the highest ethics, which is the goal of all evolution. Until we stop harming all other living beings, we are still savages."


the dude was brilliant (a major understatement, of course). in addition to inventing the light bulb and the phonograph, he was also a total babe...

worshiping an artist - how far is too far?

i like music. i admittedly obsess over bands to the point of ridiculousness. but i do draw the line. and that line is TATTOOS.

i was recently reading a certain online community of a deceased musician. a tattoo thread caught my eye. all of these tattoos belong to the same person, believe it or not. i'm not sure how many arms they have, it seems to be 8. perhaps they are part octopus? i think this person is one sandwich short of a picnic, one french fry short of a happy meal . . . if you catch my drift.
















yup, still going....