solitary man

when i was a wee melinda, i asked my parents why and how they chose the name melinda for their first born child. my mom replied, "your dad liked the name melinda - you were named after a neil diamond song." i never really thought much about this until many years later when i heard the song solitary man and realized that my parents named me after a whore. not just any whore, a whore that cheated on neil diamond and ripped his heart to shreds. in the song solitary man, neil ends up catching his lover, melinda, fucking another man named jim. neil gives up on life and love and decides that being a solitary man is not so bad after all - you don't have to deal with all the games that the bitches and hoes play.

:`(

sarah palin is a cunt

sarah palin is a cunt rag, plain and simple. as far as i'm concerned, she is not a real woman and i want to rip my ears off whenever i hear people referring to her as a "feminist." if the republicans could air bill clinton's dirty laundry in the 90's, why can't the democrats wave around sarah palin's stained panties? fucking step it up a notch and beat this woman down, plz. she is very close to being our next president. it should be an easy kill (cheated on husband? check. covered up a pregnancy? check. banned books? check. lied multiple times about the bridge to nowhere? check. thinks drilling for oil will actually solve our energy crisis? check. doesn't believe in dinosaurs? check check check.) the stupid democrats need to step their game up and play some hard ball. jesus christ, the republicans are giving them some easy slow pitches right over the plate and they can't even hit them out of the park. ay dios mio.

as usual, keith olbermann hits the nail right on the head. this video is awesome.

old people

where do the cute old people in portland hang out? i'd like to know. i never see them anymore. this town is full of 20-30 somethings with their angular hair cuts, tattoos, and faux-rebellious attitudes. i'm tired of seeing them. i miss old people. in fact, whenever i have to communicate with my landlord, who is probably around 78-80, i end up getting a little teary eyed. i might have a tiny crush on him. this might have a little something to do with his irish accent or the fact that he often sings when he comes over to my home. i might also miss old people. i'm thinking about adopting a grandparent since i do not have one. i just don't really know how i go about doing that. should i spend more time at denny's? i just don't know.

note: the picture above is the only other old person that i see on a regular basis besides my landlord. i am severely lacking cute old people in my life. on another note, i looked almost exactly like this picture the day after my 29th birthday.

a nerd's wet dream

today our work emails were switched over to gmail (business) accounts. you know you are a nerd when this totally makes your day/life.

tears of joy.

Technology and ME

I'm feeling conflicted. We're having this contest at work and the grand prize is a brand new snazzy iPhone. The contest ends this week and I'm tied for first place at the moment. I can easily win if I put in more effort, and I must say that I do love winning. I really want to beat the crap out of the woman I'm tied with because I'm super competitive with her (and I love watching crap fall out of women). But...I'm conflicted. The iPhone will change my life and I'm not really sure if I want to have it even though they are super cool and snazzy. Do I want to be constantly hooked up to the internet? Do I need GPS on my phone? Do I need to check my email while I'm pooping or buying a slurpee at 7-11? The answer is no, no I don't. I am perfectly happy with my ghetto phone that does not even have a camera or "the Googles" as my web-ignorant colleague would say. I'm old fashioned. Give me an iPhone with a rotary dial, and then I'll be happy. But...do I give up the rare opportunity to win something fo' free? I realize I should not be complaining or whining about this, and most people will want to stab my crotch for not coveting the iPhone with all of my body... but still. I kind of just want to win the contest for the sake of winning. A good old fashioned ass-whooping means more to me than an iPhone. Maybe I'll take the cash equivalent of what an iPhone is worth or donate my iPhone to my favorite homeless person. Who knows.

yearbook yourself

yearbookyourself.com