@#*$(#&%!

dear person who totaled the side of my car and shattered my back window,

thanks for not leaving a note. that was really awesome.

sincerely,

me

NOBUNNY

i can't wait to see nobunny in january when he comes to pdx.

swoon

i think my crush on rudy only grows with each blazers game. just think how big it'll be by the end of the season.

*swooooon* :`(

anarchy

this video made me laugh...


Snowpocalypse? Snowmageddon? from brewcaster on Vimeo

unfortunately, i've caved into the portland snowmageddon cheerfulness that i spoke of the other day. no matter how hard i tried to be angry today, i just couldn't. i even cracked a smile towards a stranger today. my neighbor shoveled the snow off of my front porch and i thanked her. a little 5 year old boy asked me if i could be his best friend and i said "yes" even though i didn't know his name. i helped a girl up when she fell off her sled. i made hot chocolate with marshmallows and a candy cane.

i'm scared of the person i am turning into. god, help me.

snow

i'm amused by the amount of skiers, snow shoers, and sledders gliding past my window every 15 minutes. i've even seen people skiing to work and snow boarding down ankeny. everyone is so fucking cheerful today, it makes me want to yell obscenities at them for some perverse reason. people are offering help, saying hello to strangers, and smiling. what the fuck is this place.

god, i feel like an idiot

i feel so dumb. i had no idea that these 2 people are both josh brolin. this blows my mind. how could i not know that brand walsh was josh brolin? my pop culture crown needs to be tossed into the trash. i'm going to hide under my covers now in SHAME.

in other brolin news, it's so eery how much he looks like dan white in the movie, milk. these 2 people are not the same person.

it's official...

my brother, frina, will be a cop on december 22nd :`(.

saddest day evz :`(

i can't believe my favorite burrito lady was arrested, along with the other employees at my favorite burrito cart, loco loco's. saddest day in history. i used to go to this cart twice a week back in 2005. i've cut that habit down considerably in 2008 and it's more like once every 2 months now, but i have fond memories of the woman at that cart. she always knew what i wanted and always greeted everyone with a big smile. who is going to ask "'miga, do you wan' salsa?" now?

FUCK. :(

sad sad sad.

How to make slippers out of maxi pads

my mum sent me this. she is obsessed with all things "aunt flo."

You need four maxi pads to make a pair.
Two of them get laid out flat, for the
foot part.
The other two wrap around the toe area
to form the top.
Tape or glue each side of the top pieces
to the bottom of the foot part.

Decorate the tops with whatever you
desire, silk flowers (this is most
aesthetically appealing), etc.

These slippers are:
* Soft and Hygienic
* Non-slip grip strips on the soles
* Built in deodorant feature keeps feet
smelling fresh
* No more bending over to mop up spills
* Disposable and biodegradable
* Environmentally safe
* Three convenient sizes: (1.) Regular,
(2.) Light and (3.) Get out the Sand Bags

i love autumn

this video pretty much sums up how i feel about october and november.




halloween....


sarah palin and her dead kara-boo



sarah palin and todd palin



sarah palin and....sarah palin



some photos from today:

next season on dancing with the stars...

cool stuff

"sexy" halloween costumes

what the fuck is up with "sexy" halloween costumes? can't ladies just dress up in normal costumes without having to sex it up? what the fuck. get over yourselves and celebrate the actual holiday. i want to see some creativity, folks. not "sexy" pirates, or "sexy" nurses, or "sexy" helpless and innocent school girls. get the fuck out!

[/rant]




actually, i kind of like this one...

cookie day!!

every wednesday is cookie day at our work. always has been, always will be. but something new happened today. my co-worker remixed a shonen knife song, added a little "lets get ready to rumble" and blasted it for everyone in our entire office to hear. it's now our new fight song and will be played every single wednesday.

click here to listen to our fight song

pigoons, genetics, etc.

i've been thinking about genetics a lot lately. this is due largely in part to me being completely engulfed in the novel, oryx and crake, by margaret atwood. i've also been reading articles online about people participating in the human genome project, projecting their entire DNA online for all to see without any anonymity. i foresee scary problems with this, but i will hold that rant inside for now. lets just say that the pigoons and rakunks from atwood's novel are not an impossibility. computers are even moving towards the DNA age, as people desire faster "super computers" that can process data more rapidly. it's weird to think that future computers will be comprised of the building blocks of life. strange days are ahead of us.

my aunt was recently asked to participate in a genetic research study because she's had both melanoma and breast cancer and her father and mother both died of cancer. i guess i'm just wondering if her 3 children will ever be involved in this study, and what are the implications of this research. i would hate for them to be discriminated against based on genetics. i would also hate for her children to live in fear for the rest of their lives, constantly wondering if cancer has overtaken their bodies. i'm also selfishly concerned now that my mother has been diagnosed with cancer. will they want to analyze our entire family? would i want to know if i have inherited these genes? ignorance is bliss, as they say. but what if knowing this information could save someone's life. hmmm.

birf / barf

i shall call this..."from birf to barf"

tomorrow night

tomorrow night will be golden. just like this...

the real world

i just saw mohammed, one of the cast members of the real world san francisco, at my grocery store. i thought it was him, but i was doubting myself because why would mohammed be living in portland now? and how could i possibly recognize him after all these years? but after doing a bit of searching on the googles afterwards (and finding him on facebook), i discovered that he is indeed living in pdx.

i remember when the real world used to be full of intriguing personalities, like mohammed, pedro, and puck. i haven't seriously watched the show in probably 7+ years, but there was a time in my life when i would watch it religiously with my mom and my high school friends. the san francisco cast was always my favorite and my mom and i balled like babies when pedro died. wtf happened to this show? it used to be groundbreaking back in the days when there weren't any other reality tv shows. now it's just full of dumb whores who are all about getting their 15 minutes of fame.

i wish i could somehow tell mohammed all of this, but that would be a bit stalkerish and he was quite busy picking out cereal with his kid.

nice couch

palin proudly displaying the grizzly bear her father killed for her.



mum and dad are pleased...



more info here:

http://www.grizzlybay.org/SarahPalinInfoPage.htm

typical pdx housing wanted ad on craigslist

Me: 29, female, unemployed, PSU graduate (Women's Studies), Heart of Nower, LoveTriber, queer, poly, trans, pre-op friendly, ecstatic dancer, singer, dreamer, bongo drummer, poet, wonderer, communicator, hugger, sex-positive, spiritual seeker, life-lover.

I would like my new home to..

* have sex-positive roommates
* have friends and lovers over to visit sometimes (we'll keep our sex swing in my room, no worries)
* be a quiet place Mon-Thurs (2am-Noon)
* cost me $350 or less for rent (plus I will pay my share of utilities)
* possibly have house meetings or heart circles. I'm a firm believer in hugging it out.
* be in SE or Alberta neighborhood
* cat-friendly household - I have 2 kittens who need to be litter-box trained.
* vegan household a plus (absolutely NO red meat)
* be body and sexuality welcoming - my lover is a pre-op tranny. must be open-minded.
* 420 friendly - I don't smoke the herb often, just once a day
* have housemates who support each others' passionate dreams
* body art parties
* have compassionate communicators

Wise Words from Eve Ensler

I am having Sarah Palin nightmares. I dreamt last night that she was a member of a club where they rode snowmobiles and wore the claws of drowned and starved polar bears around their necks. I have a particular thing for Polar Bears. Maybe it's their snowy whiteness or their bigness or the fact that they live in the arctic or that I have never seen one in person or touched one. Maybe it is the fact that they live so comfortably on ice. Whatever it is, I need the polar bears.

I don't like raging at women. I am a Feminist and have spent my life trying to build community, help empower women and stop violence against them. It is hard to write about Sarah Palin. This is why the Sarah Palin choice was all the more insidious and cynical. The people who made this choice count on the goodness and solidarity of Feminists.

But everything Sarah Palin believes in and practices is antithetical to Feminism which for me is part of one story -- connected to saving the earth, ending racism, empowering women, giving young girls options, opening our minds, deepening tolerance, and ending violence and war.

I believe that the McCain/Palin ticket is one of the most dangerous choices of my lifetime, and should this country chose those candidates the fall-out may be so great, the destruction so vast in so many areas that America may never recover. But what is equally disturbing is the impact that duo would have on the rest of the world. Unfortunately, this is not a joke. In my lifetime I have seen the clownish, the inept, the bizarre be elected to the presidency with regularity.

Sarah Palin does not believe in evolution. I take this as a metaphor. In her world and the world of Fundamentalists nothing changes or gets better or evolves. She does not believe in global warming. The melting of the arctic, the storms that are destroying our cities, the pollution and rise of cancers, are all part of God's plan. She is fighting to take the polar bears off the endangered species list. The earth, in Palin's view, is here to be taken and plundered. The wolves and the bears are here to be shot and plundered. The oil is here to be taken and plundered. Iraq is here to be taken and plundered. As she said herself of the Iraqi war, "It was a task from God."

Sarah Palin does not believe in abortion. She does not believe women who are raped and incested and ripped open against their will should have a right to determine whether they have their rapist's baby or not.

She obviously does not believe in sex education or birth control. I imagine her daughter was practicing abstinence and we know how many babies that makes.

Sarah Palin does not much believe in thinking. From what I gather she has tried to ban books from the library, has a tendency to dispense with people who think independently. She cannot tolerate an environment of ambiguity and difference. This is a woman who could and might very well be the next president of the United States. She would govern one of the most diverse populations on the earth.

Sarah believes in guns. She has her own custom Austrian hunting rifle. She has been known to kill 40 caribou at a clip. She has shot hundreds of wolves from the air.

Sarah believes in God. That is of course her right, her private right. But when God and Guns come together in the public sector, when war is declared in God's name, when the rights of women are denied in his name, that is the end of separation of church and state and the undoing of everything America has ever tried to be.

I write to my sisters. I write because I believe we hold this election in our hands. This vote is a vote that will determine the future not just of the U.S., but of the planet. It will determine whether we create policies to save the earth or make it forever uninhabitable for humans. It will determine whether we move towards dialogue and diplomacy in the world or whether we escalate violence through invasion, undermining and attack. It will determine whether we go for oil, strip mining, coal burning or invest our money in alternatives that will free us from dependency and destruction. It will determine if money gets spent on education and healthcare or whether we build more and more methods of killing. It will determine whether America is a free open tolerant society or a closed place of fear, fundamentalism and aggression.

If the Polar Bears don't move you to go and do everything in your power to get Obama elected then consider the chant that filled the hall after Palin spoke at the RNC, "Drill Drill Drill." I think of teeth when I think of drills. I think of rape. I think of destruction. I think of domination. I think of military exercises that force mindless repetition, emptying the brain of analysis, doubt, ambiguity or dissent. I think of pain.

Do we want a future of drilling? More holes in the ozone, in the floor of the sea, more holes in our thinking, in the trust between nations and peoples, more holes in the fabric of this precious thing we call life?

solitary man

when i was a wee melinda, i asked my parents why and how they chose the name melinda for their first born child. my mom replied, "your dad liked the name melinda - you were named after a neil diamond song." i never really thought much about this until many years later when i heard the song solitary man and realized that my parents named me after a whore. not just any whore, a whore that cheated on neil diamond and ripped his heart to shreds. in the song solitary man, neil ends up catching his lover, melinda, fucking another man named jim. neil gives up on life and love and decides that being a solitary man is not so bad after all - you don't have to deal with all the games that the bitches and hoes play.

:`(

sarah palin is a cunt

sarah palin is a cunt rag, plain and simple. as far as i'm concerned, she is not a real woman and i want to rip my ears off whenever i hear people referring to her as a "feminist." if the republicans could air bill clinton's dirty laundry in the 90's, why can't the democrats wave around sarah palin's stained panties? fucking step it up a notch and beat this woman down, plz. she is very close to being our next president. it should be an easy kill (cheated on husband? check. covered up a pregnancy? check. banned books? check. lied multiple times about the bridge to nowhere? check. thinks drilling for oil will actually solve our energy crisis? check. doesn't believe in dinosaurs? check check check.) the stupid democrats need to step their game up and play some hard ball. jesus christ, the republicans are giving them some easy slow pitches right over the plate and they can't even hit them out of the park. ay dios mio.

as usual, keith olbermann hits the nail right on the head. this video is awesome.

old people

where do the cute old people in portland hang out? i'd like to know. i never see them anymore. this town is full of 20-30 somethings with their angular hair cuts, tattoos, and faux-rebellious attitudes. i'm tired of seeing them. i miss old people. in fact, whenever i have to communicate with my landlord, who is probably around 78-80, i end up getting a little teary eyed. i might have a tiny crush on him. this might have a little something to do with his irish accent or the fact that he often sings when he comes over to my home. i might also miss old people. i'm thinking about adopting a grandparent since i do not have one. i just don't really know how i go about doing that. should i spend more time at denny's? i just don't know.

note: the picture above is the only other old person that i see on a regular basis besides my landlord. i am severely lacking cute old people in my life. on another note, i looked almost exactly like this picture the day after my 29th birthday.

a nerd's wet dream

today our work emails were switched over to gmail (business) accounts. you know you are a nerd when this totally makes your day/life.

tears of joy.

Technology and ME

I'm feeling conflicted. We're having this contest at work and the grand prize is a brand new snazzy iPhone. The contest ends this week and I'm tied for first place at the moment. I can easily win if I put in more effort, and I must say that I do love winning. I really want to beat the crap out of the woman I'm tied with because I'm super competitive with her (and I love watching crap fall out of women). But...I'm conflicted. The iPhone will change my life and I'm not really sure if I want to have it even though they are super cool and snazzy. Do I want to be constantly hooked up to the internet? Do I need GPS on my phone? Do I need to check my email while I'm pooping or buying a slurpee at 7-11? The answer is no, no I don't. I am perfectly happy with my ghetto phone that does not even have a camera or "the Googles" as my web-ignorant colleague would say. I'm old fashioned. Give me an iPhone with a rotary dial, and then I'll be happy. But...do I give up the rare opportunity to win something fo' free? I realize I should not be complaining or whining about this, and most people will want to stab my crotch for not coveting the iPhone with all of my body... but still. I kind of just want to win the contest for the sake of winning. A good old fashioned ass-whooping means more to me than an iPhone. Maybe I'll take the cash equivalent of what an iPhone is worth or donate my iPhone to my favorite homeless person. Who knows.

yearbook yourself

yearbookyourself.com